I’m sorry. fuck. look, I know I fucked up. I get that. you don’t need to constantly remind me though. the more you remind me, the more I’m going to get pissed & things are never gonna get better. currently, you won’t speak to me, & it sucks because I can’t do anything about it. I mean, I could. but you said you needed time. so I’m going to give you all the time you need & stay away. maybe it’s for my own good. maybe it’s for your own good. usually I’d fight back until things got better, but I just.. can’t. because it was my own fault and mistake & I couldn’t help but put myself down. i wish i could go back in time and take back what i said. what you said to me keeps repeating over and over in my mind..
"what, you can’t control your fucking head?"
i know, i know. i don’t think. well, sometimes i do. most times i don’t. i don’t think before i do. thats one thing about me i hate. i know. I’m stupid. I’m so dumb. and i don’t want to lose you. i can already feel us becoming distant.
you & I got in a little “fight” about 2 weeks ago. it wasn’t even a fight, you just told me to stay out of your life. that’s what I did. that’s what I’ve been doing. when people tell me to back off or leave them alone, I do as I’m told because I don’t want to look clingy or annoying. you pulled a really bitchy move. I honestly didn’t think I deserved it, because I haven’t done shit to you. fuck, I didn’t even get to tell you my side of the story. I didn’t get to apologize to you. but no, you just wanted to get your sweet revenge. you saw that I clearly wasn’t going to come back to you so you decided to play dirty. well whatever logic is going through your head, just quit it. because I’m done with you. yeah I kinda missed you which is why I wrote this but I mean, let’s face it, we both needed a break from each other. were both suffering & learning how to deal without one another. you’re controlling & I’m sensitive.